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Work-life balance for the work at home mum. Does it exist?

10/1/2017

10 Comments

 
In the past I have heard the term ‘Work at Home Mum’ and associated it with women who must have found a way to have it all - the ultimate Work-life balance. Working for yourself from the place you live – could there be a more perfect solution?!
 
Now I have had a taste of this life and I must admit – I couldn’t have been more wrong. A very wise mentor of mine said something to me last week that rang very true and actually inspired this post.
 
“An entrepreneur is someone who is willing to work sixteen hours per day for themselves in avoidance of working eight hours for someone else.”
 
I am blessed to work and socialize with a whole bunch of driven, intelligent and passionate entrepreneurial women working toward creating a their own path. More and more women (and men) are ditching the traditional nine to five and creating their own source of income on the quest for a more fulfilling and flexible life.
 
We are a passionate bunch, pursuing what we love to live a life that we’ve always dreamed of and there’s nothing I love more than chatting to a like minded go-getter… but there are a number of pitfalls that I’ve come across since spending my time as a work at home mum that I know aren’t unique to me.
  • I am passionate about what I’m doing and my head is full of ideas (I know this is a positive as well as a negative but see the next five points)
  • I have no start/ finish time.
  • It’s difficult to define when I am in work mode and home mode
  • It’s hard to focus on work and it’s hard to focus on anything else
  • Multi tasking DOES NOT WORK
  • Exercise and eating fell down my priority list
  • Family/ friends don’t understand that you’re working and can’t just drop everything to be with them – you are at home after all
  • Shiny things syndrome. I sit down with a purpose, quickly flick through Facebook first… Oh what do you know? A Facebook ad catches my eye and takes me to some amazing training program that I just have to watch, 50 minutes later Flynn has woken up and I’ve achieved nothing other than being enticed to spend $450 on a program that I don’t need to achieve something I’m not ready for.
  • See above – Flynn wakes up. As a work from home mum it’s hard to justify putting your child in childcare so we often end up trying to do everything at once. See above note on multitasking.
  • I also have a career to focus on! My work at home life is a sideline to my career which also requires a big part of my time and energy. Sometimes this means that my ‘start time’ is 7pm!
 
So. Does this elusive work-life balance exist for the work at home mum? I believe that what exists is a balance that I feel good about and I believe that there are times that I can achieve it and times when I have a major project or deadline that I won’t. But I have asked some experts and done some tweaking and I have ten ideas to focus on that have me well on my way to achieving my idea of balance.

  1. Set your work at home hours for the week and STICK TO IT. This is extremely difficult to do, but sacrificing my family, health and sanity is not something I’m willing to do… so I’m doing it.
  2. Put your schedule up somewhere that your family can see it. They’ll then know when you’re working and when you’re going to be free. This might need to be adjusted if you have a big project happening – be open and let your family know that it is short term. Still set yourself boundaries and don’t let it stretch on and become habit. Follow a heavy period with a lighter workload for a week to reconnect.
  3. Be open about your goals and plans. Your husband/ partner/ children need to understand that this is your work and that your ultimate goal is to be around them more – particularly true if you are in the intense start up period. If they can share your vision life becomes far easier. Have a conversation about childcare. If it's financially viable make it happen, or find someone willing to help out. When you're with your children you'll  be able to give them your full attention and vice versa when you're at work. 
  4. Have a space set up that is for work only and take everything you need in with you so that you don’t need to step out to grab a cup of tea and see that there are dishes in the sink! When you leave this space, leave work behind for the day. Turn off your phone notifications – it can wait! Honestly! When you’re with your family give them your complete attention.
  5. Focus focus focus. If you’re trying to send an email while feeding your child and holding a conversation with your husband you are not doing any of these tasks well. Multitasking DOES NOT WORK. When you’re with your family let work go. Leave your phone in the office if you need to. When you’re at work, don’t worry about what your family is doing. Know that you will have quality time with them once work is done. When you’re at your regular job – be present. Give it everything you have and then leave it there when you knock off. I know this sounds simple, it’s not. It takes a whole lot of practice but it’s so important.
  6. Schedule exercise in your diary and treat it like any other appointment. You will not function to your full potential if you don’t look after yourself. Great ideas come to you when you’re exercising too!
  7. Plan your meals. Take away the brain space taken up with ‘What are we having for dinner tonight?!’ Feel free to grab my weekly meal planner from the How She Does It blog.
  8. Schedule fun and relaxation!! I know the words schedule and fun shouldn’t go together… but they need to or you risk skipping it all together. Whatever your big plans and dreams are, life is now. Live it!!
  9. Write purposeful to do list at the beginning of every block of work. If something catches your eye that you might like to take a look at or another idea pops in to your head, have a separate piece of paper to write it down on and revisit it later if you want to. Chances are it wasn’t as crucial as it felt in that moment and was just a ‘shiny thing’ distracting you from what matters.
  10. Keep this list handy and revisit it often.  When you’re passionate about something it’s hard to switch it on and off. It requires patience and practice. Remember why you’re doing what you’re doing. It’s for a better life, a life lived to it’s full potential, a life with balance. Don’t let it slip by in hope that it’ll happen one day. Create these habits now.
 
Being a work at home mum can be wonderfully fulfilling and enjoyable and there is no better feeling than knowing you’re working within your passion. You can create a balance that works for you and your family. Follow these ten tips and keep moving toward that ultimate goal – a balanced, fulfilling and purposeful life.
10 Comments
Lucy link
12/1/2017 11:31:33 am

Good tips. Especially number 9 - I'm forever making lists! Setting hours and sticking to them is really hard, especially when workloads and priorities change so often. It's a good goal to keep in mind tho.

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Tamsin link
12/1/2017 05:47:21 pm

Hi Lucy, It's so challenging isn't it! The hours I set for myself change daily depending on what I've got going on, the important thing to me is that I set them!

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Anna Brophy link
21/1/2017 09:49:48 am

I, too, am a sufferer of 'shiny things' syndrome (love this!!). It is exceptionally difficult to set boundaries and even harder to let go of the guilt if you have to set the kids up watching a movie (marathon) in order to get something/anything done.

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Tamsin Simounds link
23/1/2017 12:13:57 pm

Thanks for the comment Anna! It becomes particularly important to nip distraction in the bud when we've only got a short space of time to focus on what we're doing doesn't it! I think as mums we tend to feel guilt regardless of what we're doing. I'm working on this at the moment!

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Jacq
21/1/2017 01:35:31 pm

I love your list! Now if only I could stick to them. I always get distracted plus my toddler keeps following me. haha!

Jacq
jacqwritesworld.com

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Tamsin link
23/1/2017 08:54:11 am

Haha Jacq, it doesn'y always go to plan in my world either.. I figure if I aim high I'll always do better than if I had no plan at all!

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Lara at Charming Language link
21/1/2017 07:44:48 pm

I am in this boat too and your points really resonate. I like the idea of putting a schedule up where the family can see it, to put clear boundaries around blocks of time. The school holidays has been a major struggle!

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Tamsin link
23/1/2017 08:53:01 am

Thanks for your comment Lara, school holidays must be really tough. Almost there...

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Bobby Simpson link
14/11/2017 03:14:35 pm

'Work-life balance'- is a turn of phrase which is used to explain the stability, between a person's personal and professional life. I would like to say that a stimulating work-life balance presumes a huge importance for a working woman, especially in the case where the workplace and family have presented a number of provocations for her. A working mum usually faces a lot of trouble in balancing both family and professional because of unbridled work pressure. Well, in this regard, if anyone considers my standpoint, then I can say that she must learn to say 'NO' to all the hurdles, schedule her week in advance, set her preferences and hire a life coach, to balance her personal and professional life.

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coursework writing service link
7/6/2019 10:37:50 am

We all know how hard it is to balance. Your career is doomed to be affected once you become a mom. It's a hard thing, but it's always possible and it could work. You just have to make an effort and for sure everything will fall into place. Being a mom is one of the most wonderful thing that can happen to everyone, that's why many ladies are excited to experience it. You are doing great so far and I hope you will continue being a business woman and a great mom at the same time!

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    Tamsin 

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